Tuesday, June 24, 2008

a conundrum?

Not really, but here's the thing. I'm miserable. I need this job, but I feel like my boss hates my guts. Do I stay or do I go? I stay because I don't want to go. I have a lot of sympathy for this woman, but it's really hard to like her when she's not helpful. I keep getting feedback through third and fourth parties and I'm miserable about it. I was at her house for three days a week and a half ago and I was subjected to her moaning about everything everyone does that's wrong and makes her life more miserable. I'll tell you what, it put the fear in me. I don't want to mess up and yet I have been... it's inevitable. It just sucks that I make an error and instead of helping me correct it, it's taken as a personal affront which then results in an angry, personal email.

Today was epic. It's like I can't cease to disappoint. When did it start... hmmm. Well, we did a physical inventory and our counts were off -- in the end we were OVER in total by quite a bit (boxed dozens being off... some short, some quite over), but that's all good. I was told that I wasn't labeling the bloody worksheet correctly... so that had to be corrected. THEN I was told by Jon that the Boss had called another person and he in turn called Jon to ask if I was "getting" the workbook. Um, no. I'm not. I mean I am, but it's niggling and fussy and some things don't work as intuitively as you'd expect. Part of this is that I was given a bunk workbook in the beginning = much frustration and more fear that I'll be drawn and quartered for adding columns to the pages which only had one column to begin with. Well... had I been sent the correct workbook in the beginning and a full product list, this problem could've been avoided. I know I can't even address this with the Boss because it'll put her out and I'll get another snarky email. Feh. So I have to take the third and fourth party inquiries knowing that the original message was, "what the hell is wrong with this girl? Is she a complete idiot? Was I an idiot for thinking she could handle this???" Great. I try to be like a duck, but it's hard. I don't belittle other people -- and when I do it to let off steam I go back and apologize because it's the right thing to do. I know I'll never get an apology. Do I care? Yeah, I do a little bit... but I also know she's incredibly stressed out. I just hope it doesn't get held against me... but I know it will be.

The next major issue is that I couldn't get in touch with a venue. She fixed that before I had a chance to. Great. Another strike against me and the count is in the dozens now.

The last straw was this Buffalo thing. Apparently I have to stop and pick up stuff in Buffalo. Good thing this came up because I had no idea... it was brought up innocently enough and I had a back-and-forth chat about it with Boss #2. It got back to the Boss. She sent a very snarky, not nice email essentially asking why I thought I was doing her job... and I'm not. I know she was blowing off steam, but steam burns, too. Feh. I'm trying to get over it because it's simply not worth being miserable, but I'm now counting down the days until I get home.

I also had to buy a new power adapter for my computer because the guy in Valdosta dropped mine and it doesn't work anymore. Grrrr. The block for my printer adapter is also jacked-up but that has to be ordered direct from Canon and I won't get one in time... I just have to pray that it doesn't fall apart, but in the meantime it also means printing out blank settlements just in case. Fabulous. I'll get yelled at for having hand-written settlements but I honestly cannot afford to plonk down $250 on a new printer right now... not out of pocket, not on principle.

OK. Tomorrow I have to mail stuff.

Words: Efficiency is not the way forward

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