Thursday, July 31, 2008

portland, an oasis

It's so fabulous to be in a city of readers... a CITY!!! I've done my bit for the local economy; I went shopping early and often. I bought yarn (malabrigo lace weight and Socks That Rock in two colorways)... my friend's sister's book at Powell's (possibly my favorite bookstore outside of Colorado) and some new shorts because my ever expanding ass is, well, expanding. I could've exercised today -- I still could, but I know I won't.

Links and photos forthcoming. I'm on skype.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

one tiny little space

It makes a big difference. There it is... one little space. One tiny tap of the space bar. I am always the "girl friend" never the "girlfriend." Whaaa.

In North Platte, NE today -- it's a day off/travel day and we're rolling out to Ogden, UT tonight at midnight. I'm actually looking forward to Utah... was looking forward to going to Carhenge here, but I just lacked the motivation. Tis the story of my life.

Alright. I'm typing and watching a movie and the movie requires concentration. What's that all about anyway?

Sunday, July 27, 2008


So I was WRONG about Janesville... it's not that it was ghetto, just not this perfect place I imagined. The day had an ominous start when the fair organizer's wife sat down with me at catering and proceeded to quiz me on a number of things: how I got started doing what I do... where I'm from... how we "all met up," etc. She then asked if I had "ever gone to college" and was quite surprised that I had in fact graduated not only from college but that I had a graduate degree as well. She asked why I wasn't "working" and then went on about how someone of my "nationality" shouldn't have any problems finding work. Um. I think I AM working... I mean, I get a paycheck because no matter how nice everyone is out here, I'm not doing this for free... and my Nationality is "American" just like her... but it didn't seem worthwhile to try and explain it all.

I had drama at settlement, but that's another long, boring story.

There was a taxidermy school tent at the fair and I took an interesting photo of a squirrel on an ATV. There was also a duck slide. Don't ask. I'll post video eventually.

Today we're somewhere way up north -- apparently we're just near the Mackinac Bridge -- so... yeah, I still don't really know where we are. The venue is pretty nice, though -- just off the lake... showers... catering... horsetrack... houses? It's odd. That's all I can say. I doubt I'll ever have cause to come to Petoskey again, so I'm going to take it all in and file it away somewhere special.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

four shows in

We've done Stillwater, Ionia and Wheaton... today is Janesville! I have a vision not unlike "Stepford" or "Pleasantville" where the people all dress as if it's still 1958, they drive brand-new stationwagons or SUVs and have perfect labrador retrievers. We'll see, I could be pleasantly surprised.

Today is my 2nd House-sells!!! I hope it goes well... but not too well.

I learned what a "June Bug" is last night -- the fair was teeming with them... I also saw a calf being birthed -- the county fair we were at yesterday had a "birthing tent" and I happened to be nearby when the announcement that the day's cow was calving... it was quite a sight. It's not pretty, I'll tell you that. In fact I've never been very close-up to actual cows before -- they had all sorts: Jerseys, Heffers, Holsteins? My favorite are the Jerseys -- they just look so sweet.

So yeah, afterbirth, corndogs and screaming little girls. It's been quite the three days already! Here are some photos of Minneapolis... I found a gorgeous yarn shop (Bella Lana) but was afraid to take photos. See their website and marvel at the design.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

minneapolis, stalking prince and a dead princess

Did you hear? Estelle Getty died today. She was probably the most golden of all the Golden Girls. I loved her as "Sophia" and that's probably why I love all things Sicilian. Well, I mostly love Sicilian pizza, but I'm going to credit Estelle Getty for that.

So sad.

I'm suffering from the tummy trauma... our landing was a little bumpy and I've been nauseous since I got on the ground. It actually had nothing to do with the flight, and everything to do with the fact that I had very spicy food last night and nothing but coffee until just now. I think my stomach is eating itself. Ouch.

Tomorrow the tour starts. Our bus -- or what I assume is our bus -- is parked outside. It looks pretty darn new, so hopefully it's got wii. If not? I'll live.

Monday, July 21, 2008

holla peeno

Yeah, "hollapeeno" --that's how NPR just pronounced jalapeño ON AIR. Not once, but like, a lot. Enough to make steam come out my ears... this from the people who are famous for their research into pronunciation. Egads. I must say I don't always do it myself -- take the "Clapotis" for example. I refuse to say it en français because it seems pretentious -- if someone corrects me, then I'll start saying it the right way.

Oh well. Maybe it's just that I was hungry and on my way to my favorite burrito joint... Señor Burritos. I don't call it "see-nore" and they do use jalapenos there.

OK. Early, early pick-up tomorrow is going to make for a very long day. I should check the weather for MSP so I can dress appropriately... or maybe I'll just chance it.

packing and heat

Um, it's hot outside. Not hot enough to dry out my converse, but hot. Hot and strangely, humid? Am I imagining things?

I'm almost packed... it only took me most of the day and still I think I'm taking way too much stuff... yet wanting to take more. Le sigh. I know this crew is going to see me with my suitcase, two computer bags and my "bucket" (aka plastic bin full of crap) and they're going to think I'm some precious little girl. Couldn't be further from the truth. Or could it?

I covet Lindsey's Gelaskin. I so want one for myself, but can't figure out where I could have one meet me... I might have to use my brain for this little problem. On the upside, my KnitPicks order arrived today. Hoorah! Only 12 days after I placed it! Well, I wasn't expecting it until tomorrow afternoon -- about the time I was landing in Minneapolis, so this is a good thing.

On that note, I'm going to bring the sneaks inside and listen to them beat up the inside of my dryer for a while... just until it makes me so crazy I can't take it anymore. Maybe I should dry my sheets first, though.

Today's words: Muscato makes for a pleasant afternoon.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

sleep is fleeting

I had the strangest dream last night which made me awake at 7am this morning really upset... there's a website I read daily written by this woman I have a bit of a girl crush on (she seems really cool on paper and seems like someone I'd want to be friends with but won't be because her family only exists on the internet). Anyhow, my dream was that I had unwittingly been having an affair with her husband and I was the cause for the breakup of their marriage... and ultimately, the demise of this blog I love to read. It was really strange. I suppose I'd benefit from the purchase of a dream journal...

So the packing hasn't started yet and my house is a disaster zone. I'm staring at my open suitcase -- it's got a gaping grin on it's clamshelley self just begging me to start throwing stuff inside... I'm feeling fat and should pack exercise gear, but honestly I don't know when I'll have time to work out -- unless I wake up every day when the bus parks up, hop out of my bunk, go run around the grandstand (or up and down the stairs) and then I'll have to find a shower... this could be problematic. While I hate being so unfit, I really hate being sweaty and stinky more, so I'll go for fat over smelly which means exercise will have to wait until I'm home... and then it's serious crunch time. If I only knew whether or not our bus has a shower... I still wouldn't exercise much on tour, surely. I can't stand the Wii calling me a "couch potato" or saying that I'm "unbalanced."

So that's pretty much it. I'm debating whether or not to have Vietnamese takeout tonight or tomorrow night. Maybe it'd be a good idea to go tonight... just in case it doesn't sit well with me. Hmmm. I'm going to sit here and think about this for, oh, 8 hours instead of doing chores. Sound plan, no?

Today's words: Don't let it mellow when yellow.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

hitting a new low

... Saturday afternoon. Couch. Hummous. "Can We Dance" on TV. I'm serious and I'm embarrassed. Wow.

Friday, July 18, 2008

get in mah belly!

I went to lunch at 11:30 this morning and I'm still full. It's now 7pm. OK, to be fair I did just eat some dinner -- dinner I wasn't hungry for. What's wrong with me? Sheesh.

Two more Newman's PB cups to eat... oh, the sacrifices I make.

Today's words: I wish I were gastronomically challenged.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

thursday... blursday

I was hungover today after knitting, but I didn't really get drunk last night. My goal is to always call my liquor when ordering a drink because well just doesn't make the cut anymore. I had "tummy troubles" this morning... and I'll just leave it at that.

I was out shopping all afternoon and managed to spend quite a bit of money on not so much stuff. Amazing how that happens... when I came home, it was nice enough out that I decided to finally tackle my spider problem. I had a nest in the garage and while I would rather put my head in a bucket of sand over the spider nest (and five... FIVE egg sacs) I knew that this couldn't wait until trash day. I went all benihana on a tree in the front yard (after an unsuccessful attempt on the bush by my garage) to use for sweeping the nest to oblivion. I figured I had to disable the mama spider first so I sprayed her nest down with bleachy water -- I don't know if it worked, but it made me feel like I was making progress. Next, branch sufficiently stripped (so the spider couldn't hop from leaf-to-leaf and onto me as punishment) I swept the nest and the egg sacs all fell onto the ground. I contained myself... I really wanted to scream and do a weird jumping fit/dance to convey my skiiviness... Here's the thing. I really didn't want to kill these spiders. My karma has taken a big hit this year (clearly... see job situation below) and I can't afford to further bankrupt my karma bank. So I don't think I killed the mama with the bleach... and the unborn? Well, their sacs are still intact -- about half of them made it into the bushes by the little greenway at the end of the alley and maybe they'll live out their days in someone elses' garage.

Here's an awful photo of what I was dealing with:Note: one sac is out of frame...

Today's words: Retail therapy cannot undo wanton arachnacide.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

transformation (nearly) complete

I'm turning into a pimply-faced adolescent boy. I'm obsessed with video games right now -- I never had them as a child. My parent's answer to my plea for an Atari was, "Doesn't Shelley have that? Go to her house to play." I've got years to make up for.

Today's big find was "Professor Layton and the Curious Village." Played for 3 hours straight. You have to solve problems/riddles while working your way through this village in search of really ridiculous stuff. The best part is the 'orrible British accents. Oh yes. And the hint coins. Uh-huh.

I'm also finally working on that Democratic Donkey (Cute Ass for Obama). So far, so good! My hands are a little crampy from all the gaming, but I'll forge ahead. Oh yeah, the Wii called me a "couch potato" today after a particularly poor performance on some game. I almost kicked my TV.

Words: Don't take offense at Video insults

Monday, July 14, 2008

comment card needed

I went to American Apparel to get some shirts for tour today and had really bad customer service. Like, worse than usual! I don't know, the people who get hired on at AA are typically anorexic, apathetic hipsters to begin with but today the girl at the counter beat any other AA employee I've ever had mediocre customer service from in the past. I suppose my expectations were high because she wasn't rail thin -- in fact, I think she was probably bigger than me. I felt a kind of camaraderie with her because she prevailed... she made it through the hiring process and got in despite her 6+ size. Anyhow I was wrong. She had a very snarky demeanor. It really cheesed me off.

Words: I mustn't shop in kiddie sections.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

objets complét

Guest boudoir shot... it's where I photograph best.

I finished a One+ skein wonder today... it was a quick knit. Unfortunately (?) it's way too hot to actually get any use out of this just now. I'm going to take it on tour and hopefully there will be some temperate days and I'll get to whip it out and (un)impress my colleagues with my mad needley skills. Somehow I think they'll be far more impressed that I'm at "medium" difficulty on Guitar Hero... quickly working my way to "advanced."

Words: I find the summertime most exhausting

Saturday, July 12, 2008

what do you do when...

... your life has become a Country & Western song? Well, I eat cookies. Tracy sent me a box from this lovely bakery in Bath, ME called Marnee's. These cookies are so good that they will make you forget all life's injustices... Rachel Ray has chosen them as her "snack of the day" and while I'm inclined to really HATE the Rach, I really LOVE these cookies.

Monday, July 7, 2008

home, not-so-sweet home.

This morning had an ominous start: I didn't wake early enough to get the 6am flight and took my regularly scheduled flight. It was overbooked. Quite. They were looking for volunteers and I was looking to get home. Stat. Well, I didn't take the free ticket -- was greedy and kept my seat... and we were delayed by thunderstorms in the O'Hare area. We didn't actually leave until just before the next flight was taking off -- so I missed out on a free ticket and still got home late.

When we landed, I started making the requisite phone calls, the last being my mother. She had bad news... the conversation started out like this, "Don't cry..." and I knew that my cat had died. He died on Father's Day but she didn't want to tell me less I get upset on tour. Unfortunately we were stuck on the tarmac at DIA for 40 minutes before we could get into a gate, so I broke down on the plane crying -- trying desperately to keep it together. The news of my cat's death wasn't news so much -- he was 19 years old, I had said my goodbyes before I left, but I'm still wracked with guilt over it. I wish he hadn't died while I was out of town. The second bit of bad news from my mother is that she's "sick." This is a generalized "sick" not specific. I didn't want the specifics. Not while I was sitting trapped on a plane with 200 other people trying to get their connections. I'll find out about it later... but it can't be very good -- she doesn't tend to bother me with the unimportant stuff. At any rate, it was the perfect shit ending to a perfectly shit tour.

I'm taking two personal days and I'm scared that the Boss woman will be angry with me. Right now, today, this moment I don't care too much -- maybe 15%, but it's still nagging at me. How wrong is that!

The high of finding a wii and getting home to play with it has been replaced with sad feelings. At some point this will all be a funny story, just not today.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

my favorite things

Well, today O'Hare is my favorite airport because that's my launching point to home in the morning! Yeehaw! I haven't been this happy in weeks. Seriously.

I'm not going to LA this week to see my boys... this makes me immensely sad. I could go, but I'm vain and I've gained weight and I'm breaking out and I just want to be girly and pretty when I see them because when I work with them I always look like crap. Crap. I don't know if I can drop 20 pounds in a week and go see them in New York. Probably not. It would take the army corps of engineers to develop some sort of girdle device that would sufficiently pull it all together... so that means I'll be home knitting and swimming and wii-ing until the 22nd, when, it appears I leave to do another Disney tour.

I'm already trying to psyche myself up for this one. The dates I got from the merch company don't jibe with the artist's MySpace page. We'll be doing three 6-day runs. This means I'll be living like a vagabond on the bus... doing outdoor gigs, doing swag, doing it on the fly as most of these place probably don't have a display... or vendors... or anything. It's going to be another 6 weeks of sweatiness and stinkiness, but the upside is that I'm on a bus? Funny, this was 6 weeks of no bus and I'm doing 6 weeks of living on a bus. I suppose it's a fair trade... it's work at the very least... and it's relatively low-profile which means, hopefully, I won't be harassed too much. One can hope -- famous last words.

Well, I'm going to try to get the 6am flight! Or maybe I'll just stick it out and take the 8am. I've had a raging headache all day... and two new zits... and god knows how many more cellulite dimples. It was a fairly miserable day today -- and to top things off, I didn't make any money. The homeless guy I gave $5 seemed really pleased -- I told him to go get a cold one as it was a miserably hot day. That and my friend, Morgan telling me she's coming out on the 20th, totally made up for all the poo.

Laundry is almost dry... must pack and sleep.

Friday, July 4, 2008

so close... yet so far away

Three more sleeps to home!!! My drive from NH to DC was grueling for some reason -- it just seemed to take forever. When I got to DC I had a bit of trouble actually finding the park -- it's so damn lush down there that everything is hidden behind trees... Luckily park found, venue vended (it was a crap evening) and I got to chill out for the afternoon. Bonus: Tiffany, my contact, got me a free funnel cake! Fat pants beware... I'm coming for you!

Afterwards, I figured I'd get a ways out of town before stopping for the night. Mistake. Well, sort of a mistake. I started driving, thinking I was closer to Baltimore than I was, and wasn't. So I stopped for gas and it was like a scene out of "Too Fast, Too Furious" or some equally pedestrian fare. I had to wait to get a pump, pulled up, fueled up and all of a sudden all these kids in souped-up civics and Imprezas pulled up all around me blocking me into the gas station. ARGH! I actually couldn't help but cry. I was so tired that I felt defeated... deflated... just done. I decided then and there to just stay at the Comfort Suites across the road. Simple plan, poorly executed. I couldn't find the entrance to the motel. Seriously. I'm not retarded, I'm not directionally challenged (not normally) but I think the dark combined with the sleepy and the frustrated equaled no hotel. So I carried on towards I-70 -- and when I got onto the highway it all went dark as if I'd driven off the edge. Seriously. I tried to cry again, but I was so tired no tears would come. I let out a banshee cry in frustration and then scolded myself knowing I'd have a sore throat all day...

I had to drive a good 80 miles out before I found a national chain hotel. Sure, I could've stopped at one of the two Bates Motels I passed along the way (which weren't even visible from the highway... scary!) but I decided to play it safe and ended up somewhere in Maryland... off one highway onto another and then a State Road and I was lost but I was at a hotel. A Holiday Inn! A Holiday Inn with a room on the 2nd floor and no elevator. Le sigh. I managed 5 hours of sleep before having to shove off again on the way to Detroit and here I am! I'm way too tired to go to the festival to see BSS, so I'm sitting here typing out some drivel trying not to sleep too early...

I heard the Escape Club twice today and Mr. Mister once on some station called "Bob" or "hits" or something equally crap. How is it possible that Mr. Mister had a top 10 single? That song is so incredibly shit it's not even funny, "So take... these broken wings... and learn to fly again, learn to blahblahblah." Yeah, I sang along anyway.

Home is within my sights! Hoorah!

Those were today's words up there.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

hampton beach

Well, it's interesting. It's almost stuck in time this place... the boardwalk is a little run-down but the beach is gorgeous. I don't know where these people all come from... Boston possibly?

So, I had a potential melt-down situation today, but I'm starting to get that duck's back afterall. I had a bitch session with Ian and he laughed and laughed which helped me laugh too. I know I'm pretty ridiculous most of the time... it's all good.

I need to call Cec... I suppose she'll help me stay awake on my hell-drive to DC. I've got an 8 hour drive tonight... let's see if I can make it past the city before I stop. As long as I can get a solid 7 hours sleep before I cruise into DC I should be good. Urgh.

So this kid was "assisting" me with parking the Penske and he thought I hit a car... I went and checked and my bumper doesn't even line-up with the dent. I'm pretty sure someone else did the deed but I told him to come get me if there were any complaints... so far so good.

OK. I'm just killing time... 30 minutes more and then it's count-down time. Yeehaw! I'm going to go grab a shirt for the TM now. Because that's how I roll.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

somewhere outside of boston...

I found a cheap-ass hotel and I'm camped out until noon tomorrow. I'm really close to Hampton, NH -- where the next show is, but I figure: beach town, summer, expensive, if any vacancies at all. Le sigh. I'm so hungry that I can't eat... or is it that I'm so tired that I can't sleep. Whatev. The picture is grim.

I had the most lovely surprise today. I stopped at an oasis off of I-90 somewhere between Buffalo and Albany to do a quick email check (yeah, sad... it's time I invest in higher technology a la iPod Touch or iPhone) and someone from one of my online knitting groups sent me a hat pattern because I had marked it a favorite. It was such a simple thing to do but it really turned my mood around. Ah, there is random kindness in the world... proof, yo!

OK. On that note, I'm going to go down for a wee nap. Everything feels like it's swimming for some reason.