Sunday, August 31, 2008

duquoin, il

Another show bites the dust and I'm one day closer to home... we just got to Oklahoma City and I learned that I need to hustle to get out this evening as people have early flights from DEN tomorrow (I'm getting dropped at my front door! Hoorah!!!)

OK. I have stuff I should be doing. I'll be doing that shortly.

Friday, August 29, 2008

mount vernon, il

It's definitely déja vu all over again... I'm at the same hotel I stayed at a couple of months ago on that other Disney tour. There's little to do here, either that or I lack the energy to do anything. Most likely the latter.

So, a few shows have canceled. We aren't flying to Albany afterall, which means I'm home for four days! I get to go to S'n'B next Wednesday and see my girls. I'm pretty excited. Well, I'm excited, but I'll have to not promise to go until I check my energy level. I'm fairly well shagged out... this tour has been brutal.

I got the schedule for the next tour I'm maybe doing and it's reasonable. There are about 10 unpaid days, though, which really stinks seeing as I'll be paying rent. In London. London rent. In Pounds Sterling... ARGH! But it's a really good opportunity, so if I get it, I'm not turning it down. I have to put a CV and references together. Le sigh.

I don't know about that October gig yet... but this could be a good thing. I could be home for a month, swimming and eating like a normal person, not like I've been doing -- like a caged animal who might never see food again. I'm pretty disgusted with myself and my lack of self control, but this is an alternate reality, the road, so I'm trying to give myself a bit of a break (there's so much more of myself to forgive these days, unfortunately).

What else? That's pretty much it. I'm making a habit of leaving things behind... and this is tragic.

Today's words: Sleep is fleeting; end is nigh.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


Our last show with VH until Albuquerque... phew!

It rained all damn day. I'm still wet and cold and miserable. Thank god tomorrow's show canceled and we get to SLEEP in hotel beds. Hoorah!

And that's me, to bed.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


What can I say? The New York State Fair is HUGE! They have a Tim Horton's trailer... which is probably the only thing out of Canada that I actually like. I'll have to hit that up later for some delicious donuts and coffee... as you do.

Apparently there's a new "Operation" game. I don't know how it's different, but there's a display here with a life-sized operation dude and crazy doctor. You can actually pull the guy's organs out of his body just like you do when you're playing the game. I might have to check that out again later. The games were all occupied when I stopped there earlier.

I also scored some Alpaca wool! My fellow Denver knitters/spinners will be happy to hear that a big old box of that stuff is being sent to me in a few while... I will divvy it out when it comes.

OK. So today is one of the last State Fairs we play before we move on to proper gigs. Thank god. However the maple syrup cotton candy was delish. The snake/woman was not.

Hillary really disappointed with her little "Sisterhood of the traveling pant-suit" comment last night. Barf.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

dayton, o-hi-o

It's another lovely day on tour... Dayton is, surprisingly, pretty depressed by the look of Downtown. I had a bit of a walkabout and am waiting for bad news from the company I'm working for (mainly that I have to do some physical work this afternoon... urgh).

I'm feeling the need for a proper day off -- we'll have that in Denver and then we have to fly to Albany.

Not much to say today. My mood has improved, but my energy level is depressed. I'm not vending tonight, which is a real treat, but I'll still be busy with other stuff. Fab-u-lous.

OK. I should "work" or something.

Monday, August 25, 2008


I'm really upset. It's completely irrational and I'm more pissed off with myself than anyone else, yet I cannot be around the others less I say something I'll regret.

It stems from the shower and my inability to follow my gut. Grrrr.

We're leaving Detroit just now which is a good thing. I saw a dead dog on the side of the road and it was an ominous sign. The next dead thing was the stillborn pig in the "miracle of life" ag tent. I kind of wish this day had never happened. Thank god it's over.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


We played the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD yesterday... it was petty cool despite the weevils and horse flies. I must admit, however, that I was a little disappointed when I walked outside and saw that the palace sits on a street, unlike any other in any small town in America. I had this image of a building which rose from a corn field... covered in corn. The actual thing is a brick building with plywood boards all over the outside which they decorate with any number of plant-like things. Not JUST corn.

Eh, the concessions inside is called a "corncessions" and there are corn stalks on everything in the town which just proves that yes, you can take a pun too far. Photos eventually seeing as the bus internet has slowed to pre-wifi speeds.

We're just outside of Chicago for a rest day. I think I might do something productive -- like go into town and spend some PDs. It's the American way.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

this was fun


Day 3 in Boise, yo. I'm ready to move on already... we spent two days exploring Downtown (which was just about a day too much exploring). I should've done the right thing and gone for a hike or a bike ride... but I didn't. I did manage to blow through some PDs, but I'd be hard-pressed to tell you what I bought.


We have a show in a few hours and then a sleep and a flight through DEN on the way to Sioux Falls. Second trip to Sioux Falls in less than two weeks... third trip in less than three months.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


What to say? The nicest people yet. Seriously. They fed us well (there was pie -- I even tried the cherry and might have to rethink my position on baked fruits) and were so accommodating I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When we pulled up, there were horse races on the track... they didn't scoop the poop, unfortunately, just watered it down (which was great as the heat started to rise).

OK, our driver just pulled up in front of his friend's house and wants us all to go and "hang out?" Weird. I just want to get to the airport and get an early flight and a McMuffin. We're off to Boise for a whole day off! Oh and a show.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

lexington, ky

We had a bus day in Lexington... this means we're not really on a day off, but we're on our way to somewhere so we stop for a day for the driver to sleep and we all get hotel rooms to get away from one another. The first thing we did was walk across the street to the Waffle House for breakfast. Together. Next, we shopped. Together. Then we all met for dinner... and a trip to the Liquor Barn. So... it was another day spent with the crew. Together. Thank god I like the crew.

I did get some "me" time in my hotel room -- long enough to remove my nail polish, but not long enough to re-polish said toe nails. I'm feeling a little self-conscious about it all.

I took absolutely no photos last night because it was too moist. My camera has a thing about humidity -- not unlike me. It doesn't work when the comfort index is in the sweaty zone.

Something very funny happened but I don't remember what it was. We were all in top bunks last night at some point, laughing and laughing. Oh yes. Our replacement guitar tech is JC's brother -- they call each other "peckerhead." JC told me that the "first thing out of my mouth should be peckerhead" when I meet Carl. Think about it. It's funny.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

what color is your parachute?

I know mine isn't dentist because I've been in Valdosta, GA today and it's felt like being inside someone's mouth all day. Blergh.

We just finished a 6-show run... I can't believe I'm still on my feet. Oh wait. I'm not. I'm on my fat ass on the bus drinking a beer (we had chick fil-a for bus food). I couldn't resist the crunchy chicken goodness. I'm becoming a fat pig and I can't stop myself... le sigh.

I have nothing. There were lizards everywhere and gators and I only saw the lizards.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I'm in the front lounge on my phone... talking on my phone... and the loudest, littlest guy comes in and starts talking really loudly. Now I'm off the phone and he's napping next to me. Bastard.

I live in fear of being sacked and yes, it's a little ridiculous, but I can't help myself.

Tomorrow is another day. Today is a day in Berrien Springs, MI and it's a long, rainy day but we're under cover. I've seen some weird stuff, but nothing particularly photo-worthy.

What is interesting is the league of anti-abortionists at every state fair. Why, people, why? Between the pro-lifers and the Republicans I'm working myself into an extremely worried state over the state of this country. I think it could be a Red November afterall...

On that note, I should go do something productive.

Monday, August 11, 2008

indy 500

Not quite. We're in Indianapolis at the Indiana State Fair! It's actually really nice... I've seen big, massive horses -- and I even saw two horses french each other. Really. I thought that Clydesdales were the king of horses, but there are two breeds, apparently, which are larger. I'll remember them soon enough and will forget to post what they're called here... (percheron? persheron?)
So, it's almost time for dinner. I saw molten chocolate cake for dessert so I think I need to head over to the food tent. Oh yes.
Some KKK Sheep for your viewing pleasure... :)

Tomorrow we get to go to Man Asses. Virginia.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

roadie ground hog day

We're on our way to Billings, MT. Oh dear.

Plus side? Early show. Porn on the Skinamax at the mo' so that's me... to bed. To sleep. It was a very long, hot miserable day and I almost went postal on a mother -- she was actually working against me telling people to go away. I could've skinned her (something I learned on "Man vs. Wild.")

Bed. Bye.

Friday, August 8, 2008

consumer warning

Don't get a bikini wax in Salt Lake City... unless you are VERY specific about what you want. How does "I don't do Brazilians or French" end up as "fresh as a baby's bottom?" That's all I can say right now because I half want to cry and half can't stop laughing. I'm such a dumbass. I know better than to do this type of thing... thank god I didn't get my hair cut, at least I'm the only person who's going to see my waxing mishap.


p.s. absolutely no photos forthcoming. Think Barbie Doll down there or 10-year old and you get the picture.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

schlameel... shlamazel...

Ohmygod. It's almost 3am and we just got into Milwaukee... we flew through a thunderstorm so drink service started late and it was "fasten your seatbelts" the entire ride.

I'm going to sleep now... lobby call at 10am. Feh.

Monday, August 4, 2008

some stuff

Still not on a plane. Here are some photos:

stuck in a funk

We're trying to get out of Billings, MT. It's not happening... between weather and mechanical delays and all the backlog, it amounts to us stuck in the airport (we got here at 10am and it's now 4:45... we hope to leave at 6:35pm). Oh my.

My head. It's done in already. Quite.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

world's longest gondola ride

Not a "ride" so much as a "torture device." Not high speed, just incredibly slow and bouncy. Inexplicably bouncy. Yesterday's gig was on the top of a mountain at Silver Mountain Resort in Idaho... we had to take gondolas up to the amphitheater -- the view was stunning once we got to the top although I had a touch of altitude sickness. I'm flummoxed as I live at altitude... the gig should've been a cake-walk at 6200 feet, but I was queasy all damn day.

I'm going to spend the day trying to forget about bouncing up and down in a tiny bubble above the street and houses and god and everything. It was awful.

Tomorrow we fly in tiny planes. God help us all. The crew think I'm jinxed.

Friday, August 1, 2008

death cannot come soon enough

Oh lord. I'm hungover today... as in HUNG OVER. It keeps coming in waves. I rue the day (yesterday) when I decided to take on drinking as a sport... this will be a one-off, surely?

Mother Nature is on my side, however, seeing as we're outside today and it's a breezy 68 degrees with drizzle. Sometimes it pays to be Charlie Brown.