Tuesday, December 30, 2008

i've read that book, too

Tonight I got the, "It's not you... I just don't want to be in a relationship right now" speech. I was also patronized blatantly with the, "I'm older than you" (5 years) and, "but I've had a string of long term relationships (which all failed?) and you haven't" lines.

Happy new year. I'm going to crawl back into bed for a few days.

Monday, December 29, 2008

another one bites the dust?

The oldest man in America has died as has Freddie Hubbard. I guess it's true what they say about your chances of dying increasing around the holidays. So sad.

She says as she stuffs the last bite of brownie in her gob...

recommended reading

I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it might be a little ego boost to repost it to mine. I know people personally who would bold the entire list and those people are my heroes. I'm a little embarrassed to have so many red-bold-highlighted (can't figure out how to underline here) books, but hell, this time of year it's good to know what needs to be worked on for next:

This one is originally from the Big Read. Apparently they reckon most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Underline those you intend to read. Since I can't figure out how to underline, I'm just going to color them red.
3) Italicize the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list so we can try and track down these people who’ve only read 6 and force books upon them.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - J D Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (en fran├žais)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

wow... rip eartha kitt.


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Three's a crowd.

Monday, December 22, 2008

a little swim... a little salt

I thought I'd put up a couple of photos from Salt Lake City. It's not apparent by looking at these, but it was INSANELY cold when I was there last week. No, really.
People have CHICKENS... in their backyard??? Weird. Mormons.

I went for my first swim in just about forever today -- there were bratty kids in the pool. I know they were trying really hard to not be brats, but they just couldn't help themselves. There were no grannies there -- I went too late in the day (for the 2nd open swim). Le sigh. I only did 13 laps. I totally suck and I'm horribly out of shape. The worst was walking by the full-length mirror and seeing THE HORROR!!! I'm giving myself 2 weeks of hard swimming to get back up to a mile a day and then it's on. I want to be fit by mid-February. If not "fit" then at least less jiggly.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

crappy christmas

Happy Hanukkah!

still crazy after all these hours

Had brunch with Lors... more baked goods given. Just thinking about how fat I'm going to get this week is depressing me. I threw away the fattest of my fat pants... maybe it's time to invest in Maternity jeans?

Oh lawd.

And the news. It's still all about the plane crash. Le sigh. Almost makes you want to create some news, just to break up the monotony. My problem is that I'm already afraid of flying (even though I have to do quite a bit of it) and the re-hashing and speculation about this incident is feeding my fears. I should turn off the TV but that's really too sensible a thing to do.

I also think my phones are broken. Must be. I've been waiting... and waiting... and waiting for a phone call from a certain someone (no, not Santa, but let's maybe say "Satan") and the only reason I can surmise for lack of communication is spontaneous combustion? Yeah, maybe the Meatbomb exploded after a night of drinking and mechanical bull-riding. Surely. Effing Fucker.

slow news day?

They're still talking about the plane "crash" last night at DEN. Nobody died... everyone got off the plane. I've decided that skidding off the runway really isn't a sexy crash to be involved in -- I won't be joking about that anymore, but c'mon Denver news media -- can we talk about the weather or something?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

a little crazy

Ever feel like you're going that way? I do lately. It's over a boy... I hate this. I hate being irrational and jealous and insecure. This isn't me.

I've been waiting for the phone to ring... funny, it never does if you're waiting for it to do so. I try to cheat it by turning it off, alas no calls. Le sigh.

I'm reading "White Tiger" -- it's the latest Booker Prize winner... so far it's quite entertaining. I think I'll escape into the Indian wilds (erm, the wild imagination of the author) for a wee while. Sleep should come swiftly if I know myself. Sleep is what I need; it tempers the crazy.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

in a bid to make me very fat for christmas...

Look at what Tracy sent me:Do you know who these people are? They're the bastards who bake the brownie and cookie bits that go into Ben&Jerry's ice cream. I'm seriously going to have to invest in some elastic for '09.

And Lindsey gave me some Lo-Han beverage:
This is what it says on the back of the little box:
Dosage: To be taken after having dissolved one piece of the cube with 100 cc. of boiling water. One piece for each time and 2-3 times for each day.

Hello! Lindsey Lo-Han tea? OK, bye-bye.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

yay! oi beers is coming!!!

In honor of Roy coming into town tonight and not tomorrow morning, I'm going to share the ghetto emergency "card" RyanAir have on their planes. They're so damn cheap that they don't even have seat pockets -- they distribute their inflight magazine after everyone is seated and then collect them at the end -- I'm pretty sure you have to pay for them if you want to keep them.

Anyhow, the card is glued to the seatback:
Look closer... you must not show your panties when using the emergency slide:

empty cupboards and dust bunnies

Punches in the face: 1
Bruises on the body: 15
Achy joints: 3
Verbal insults endured: countless
Stress pounds gained: 9
Excess luggage on Ryan Air: €150
Wages lost due to weak Sterling: $2000
Change fee for return flight: $230
Flu meds at the airport: £6
...waking up in my own bed today: FECKING PRICELESS!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

the end

I made it! Last night was the last show and it felt like Christmas came early this year! I left the "end of tour" drinks thing at the hotel early -- rudely without saying goodbye to anyone (who I'll soon be seeing at the airport...)

One more day and then I fly home... seems like forever.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

word of the day

From Dictionary.com:
caitiff \KAY-tif\, noun, adjective:

1. cowardly and mean
2. a mean, cowardly person

Funny... I know someone like this and I work for her -- only one more show!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

limerick -- the one in ireland, not a silly verse

Well, maybe a silly verse... second-to-last show! This must be one of the smallest gigs I've ever done. It's about the size of the Hi-Dive in Denver. I honestly don't know what we're going to do about quick changes and everything... I'm right on stage behind the stacks. My night is going to be long. The payoff? We're going to a hotel "straight" after the gig to shower and sleep. And tomorrow is the last show!

I've pretty much got my wardrobe sorted so that's me. Almost finished. Thank feck for that!

Monday, December 1, 2008

and another one bites the dust

Tonight I hate her guts. I really, really do. I was actually wishing she'd just fall right off the stage, but she didn't. I got yelled at during the first quick change -- I didn't understand what she was asking for after one song -- the song before the change, and when I asked what she needed she went off on me... saying that I need to be "creative" and that "everything with (me) is just lists." Well, first, I'm not paid to be creative. If I choose to go "creative" with the changes, she'll yell at me. I go by lists so as not to upset her, and yet that upsets her. I'm not paid to be "creative" -- that's her fucking job.

I know she was stressed out because her whole family were in the audience, but that's no excuse for going off on me... and Joanne... and everyone she went off on today. She's just a miserable person.

During the sound check she decided to change the set a bit -- we had a rolling clothing rail which she wanted filled with clothes so that she could wheel it out to the center, poke her head through and start a song. We didn't rehearse. It didn't work, of course -- she couldn't get close enough to the mic to sing... so what does she do? She wheels the rail around the stage a bit (Jo and I watching nervously, waiting for it to tip over) and then stops and starts pulling the clothes off and throwing them all over the place. It was down to Jo and me to run around the stage picking up after her. The effect is that she looked like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum (the 2nd of the night on stage, in fact) and I couldn't find many of the items which had been strewn around. I couldn't even go into her room to gather her dress because I was so angry with her... she didn't do it in a run of "creativity" -- she did it to be a bitch. She's a mean person and I should feel sorry for her, but I just hate her at present.

three shows to go

I can't believe we're almost finished. OHMYGOD!!! I honestly thought I'd either be sacked or I'd have quit by this point but here I sit in the "crew room" at the Olympia Theatre in Dublin waiting for the show to begin... we've got just under 2.5 hours... then a 2 hour show... then it's two shows left! Hoorah!

Yesterday flying in wasn't so traumatic; at least not nearly as bad as I thought it would be... we did Podge & Rodge (unfortunately it's airing tonight during the show so nobody gets to see it) and I didn't blag any swag while I was there (stupidly). It's all good... I'll live. She was really kind to me yesterday; I don't get all this hot and cold shit. I'm over it, but it's almost over so I'll manage.

What else? Nothing much, actually. She fell getting up the curb when we got to our hotel yesterday (the driver accidentally took us to the wrong hotel first -- Blooms... Brooks... so similar. Not really) and I had to work hard to stifle a laugh. I had one once I got to my room -- it's karma. She had a go at the waiter and manager of this airport restaurant we ate at because her "Full English" was lacking sausage and wasn't up to par. She got a refund (my money which she pocketed). Grrrr. So when she fell, I was quite amused. And then she was really nice to me and I felt horrible.

OK. Here's some pictures. I had an Irish Coffee for Lindsey -- I'll have to look for glasses when I get back to England -- I have half a day out by Gatwick -- because we're flying Ryan Air back to London and my luggage is well over the 15kg limit. Goddamn.

Photos are being fussy, unfortunately.