Wednesday, June 24, 2009

committing myself to a healthier lifestyle

I really need to do this. Since mid-January, I've managed to pack on about 15 pounds (give or take 5). This was in direct response to a break-up -- as a friend would say, I was "eating my feelings" in a big, big way.

I hate getting winded walking up the stairs (I have 30 stairs in my house. I count them each and every time I climb up them). I hate not fitting in my clothes in a flattering way. I hate that I even OWN "fat pants" and that my fat pants no longer fit. I hate seeing myself in photographs and I what I hate the most is that I did this to myself.

SO, I'm going to try to do this... get back in shape... stay in shape... be as healthy as I can be. I enjoy swimming but have gotten away from it. I'm making a semi-public declaration (since very few people actually read my blog) because I need to create some kind of accountability for myself. I stopped going to therapy a couple of months ago -- it was a major financial commitment and I just didn't feel I was making any progress. I liked my counselor, but I needed to see the end and the road just kept getting longer and lonelier, so I stopped going. I think that if I distract myself with getting fit it'll help my outlook, too. That's my hope at this point anyhow. I can't let the remainder of the year slip by and find myself feeling even more glum in December. This year isn't a total wash, it's only half-over.

And on that note, I'm exhausted. Today was "bike to work day" and I did my part by cycling to S'n'B -- easy enough going there since it's all downhill, coming home is always hard. What used to be an annoying ride was an almost impossible one tonight but my one little victory is that I didn't get off the bike to walk... I forced myself to cycle the entire way home. Funny that each time I do this, I find a more level route... all the same I'll be feeling it tomorrow! Baby steps.

1 comment:

Susanna said...

Good for you! Summer is always motivating ... the bright light on the cellulite ...

Let me know if you ever want to go for a walk or hike or other sporty endeavor. Sporty within reason, that is.