Wednesday, August 12, 2009

on the "new" trophy wife

Someone on Ravelry posted this article about how younger Asian women have become the new trophy wife. As I read it, I was a little angered... and even after I realized the author is herself an Asian woman I was still a little incredulous.

Then I got to thinking. Maybe she's right. Maybe just a little bit... it's been under the radar -- the "new" model of trophy wife, but you cannot argue her point. She's got a short list of couples in her article and my own dating experiences back up her position... just a bit. So yeah, I've done a little bit of online dating (unsuccessfully although this is not my point). In your profile you list what you're looking for in a partner -- one of the categories is always an age range. I guess you could say I'm conservative... I list a range of +/- 5 years yet I get quite a few winks and nudges and emails from men significantly older than me. Like, old enough to be my father... and on rare occasion, my grandfather. I never contact these men... I figure they are looking for a trophy... but more than just a trophy. They're looking for someone submissive, or someone who fits the stereotype of the "Asian woman" we've all seen in movies... and TV and in other media. Maybe they're veterans who are looking for someone who harkens back to their glory days in 'Nam or Korea. Who knows, but it has always made me uncomfortable.

The author of the article presents a new perspective: that older men are looking for not only a "good looking woman" but also one who is accomplished and intelligent. I never really thought of it like that, but I think my first inclination, that these men are slightly pervy is probably the norm. I mean I was once approached by a man at a bar who stated that Asian women make great lovers because they squat all day in the rice paddys. I kid you not. And my last (douchebag) boyfriend made a point of stating that I was the first Asian he had "had." Nice. Well, author of Marie Claire article, bravo for trying to put a positive spin on this issue... I'm not buying it.


susanna said...

Ew. Ew, ew, ew. Mostly @ your ex. Ew.

Angifreak said...
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