Tuesday, September 15, 2009

huge sigh of relief

I woke up before my alarm this morning; I was having stress dreams about "work." I just feel sick about this temp job because it's so unsatisfying: the women who run the wardrobe department for this particular production are not friendly... the work is physically exhausting and my compensation? Babysitters earn more per hour than I do. I could go into detail about how the touring crew and daytime temps have been bitchy, but then I sound like a whinger... they're "nice" enough, but not friendly. It's a fine line.

I've been struggling with the decision to quit early (I've already decided not to work the 7th week of the production; when I accepted the job I was told it would be a 6-week run and even when I realized that it would be a week longer, I decided not to complete the full run and take a trip to Taos the first weekend of October). Sunday was an atypical day: it started out great (as great as can be expected) as I get along with all of the artists I deal with directly and a few that are just friendly and chat when we're all hanging around waiting for our cues. Friends came to the show and one of the musicians was kind enough to bring them backstage after to say hi... that's when things got a little weird. On the last day of the week everyone is exhausted. We're all looking forward to our one day off for the week and I think that I was being a bit hypersensitive when the musician snapped at me and then no less than five minutes later, my colleague made a snippy remark. I'm less stressed out about Alexis, my colleague, than Mimi, the musician. To cover my ass I sent a text to Alexis Sunday night apologizing for "slacking" while my friends where visiting... and then thought up a scheme to set things right with Mimi: a thank you note and a cupcake. I don't owe this woman anything, really... she did me a favor for me doing her a favor; she snapped at me and is probably over it and yet... I feel I owe her a damn thank you and a cupcake. This isn't the straw that broke the camel's back, because my back was broken on the 2nd day.

So I don't want to go back today or ever. But I will. I will buy a bloody cupcake on the way in and I'll leave it at her dressing table and she probably won't even notice. She probably doesn't eat sweets because the pressure to be thin there, amidst the pre-pubescent acrobats, is very high. I'll stay the remaining two weeks that I've set for myself... to fulfill the bargain I've made with myself and I'll be miserable the entire time. But this is where I had a pleasant surprise today. All morning I've been dreading going in to work... 3:30pm comes too early when you really don't want to leave the house... but today is a single-show day! My call time is 7:30pm. Thank god.

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