Saturday, February 28, 2009

thank god for repeats

I just got back from a night out... an early night out, but I'm tired. The sleepiness started early today, but I couldn't manage a nap so I'm really happy that SNL is a repeat that I've already seen. I'm going to bed... but wanted to put up a reason I'm happy that Frank dumped me:

His financial situation is a shambles.

Friday, February 27, 2009

transitions lenses

Today's reason I'm thankful that Frank dumped me. He wears these in his frames and while they're not gross or anything, they make him seem old.

on ending the war

Wow. Obama's first 100 days in office and the man is actually DOING. I'm not sure how I feel about this... I think it's the right thing to do... it's what he said he would do... but with the economy so in the toilet, what's going to happen to all the troops when they come home? Will they be fixing the roads or building a national railway system? I know this has to tie-in to the stimulus package in some way, but I can't wrap my head around it right at this moment. Hopefully by 2011 the economy will have rebounded sufficiently, but two years is such little time.

I only paid scant attention to the speech... I'm headed over to Huff Post in a while to see if the text is up so I can read the speech again.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

facebook ads

This one gives me the heebee-jeebees:There are a few variations on this theme... but they're usually Asian people with double or triple stacked eyes... what does it mean? Maybe I should ask Miley Cyrus.

whole foods to food bank

The news is reporting on how people are "downsizing" at home and a woman just said that her family has gone from being a "Whole Foods family to a food bank family." Um. It makes me think that maybe they weren't a "whole foods" family to begin with. At first I was upset about the debt relief the stimulus package was going to offer families who were "underwater" with their shady mortgages... I thought, "What the? I'm responsible... I'm not one of the people who borrowed beyond their means... I paid my house off completely within 5 years... I have money in savings... what am I going to get out of this?" Well, if my neighbors don't have to foreclose and further devalue my home, that's a good thing. Right? I'm still a little salty that stories on the news are about "downsizing" when really, people need to take ownership for living beyond their means and contributing to the whole mess. Yes, I also blame the banks... and I still think that the Bush Administration deserves the lion's share of blame for this whole mess (hello "WAR" and letting the Stock Market run amok with the "renegade" fund managers... not intervening when all these large corporations started failing and investigating the outrageous bonuses the CEOs were still receiving...) but it comes down to personal responsibility, too.

Anyhoodle, that's my rant for the day.

Why I shouldn't date Frank: He's indecisive. Indecision is not attractive on a man and he couldn't even decide what to eat... or what he wanted to buy... and if he bought something, guilt or whatever would make him return it (hello, shoes). He couldn't even decide whether or not he wanted to date me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

lions and tigers and plane crashes, oh my!

Good grief. I hate flying. I do. There was another major plane crash today -- in Amsterdam -- and a minor one at Centennial Airport just south of Denver. I need one more to happen before I fly next week and I should be safe to fly.

grrrrrr.

Today's reason not to date Frank: He's a picky eater. I don't know if it's down to the fact that he wasn't exposed to many different foods as he was growing up or if he's just simply picky, but he is. Right now, at this moment, I can't remember his big freak out -- was it tomatoes? I know he didn't like mushrooms... and raw onions... OR PEPPERS! Goddamn fucker didn't like peppers. Bye-bye.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

spring(ing)

I meant to rush home and post something about the birds yesterday, but forgot and then I woke up to the sound of finches (or whatever... NOT pigeons or geese) this morning and wanted to post a note about it. I feel like a weight is being lifted from my shoulders -- even though this winter has been exceptionally mild -- still, I'm so happy that there are signs of spring!

Today is Pancake Day (Shrove Tuesday, apparently) and IHOP is giving away a free short stack of pancakes all day. I hope it's not like the Denny's fiasco although the promise of a plate of pancakes isn't as enticing as the free "Grand Slam." Free is free, though, so I'm headed to IHOP shortly.

In other exciting news, the Octo-grandaddy is giving his Oprah interview today. I have a feeling we've already seen the most compelling bits in the teasers, but I plan on watching it at 4pm with the nation's soccer moms.

Wow! Tom Jones is on The View and he's gone all frosty-tipped. I love how he's rocking his shiny suit and skinny tie but all that black against his silvery tipped top makes it look as though his head is floating in space... and perhaps it really is. Ooh, deep.

Right. Today's reason for not dating Frank: He has a very convenient memory (thank you, Val). E.g. He somehow forgot to tell me that he lives with his ex-wife yet suddenly remembered "telling me" all about it early on in our relationship as he was dumping me. This is the man who would ask me 6 times in a 30 minute conversation, "how are you doing?" because his sort-term memory was shot.

Monday, February 23, 2009

reasons not to date frank

I wrote a long list over the weekend because I got myself all worked-up (i.e. upset... weepy) and I needed to put things in perspective. Susanna suggested a reason a day would help me move on, and she's right... here's today's reason:

Frank is immature (e.g. he broke up with me via email).

OK, sure, you could argue that I'm "immature" by posting this publicly, and I own it, but he's 42 and would never admit, himself, that he's a big man-baby so I'm doing it for him.

p.s. Susanna didn't tell me I should WRITE a reason a day here, but I'm going to until I can wake up and either not have any more reasons or not think about him anymore.

unimpressed

Am I the only person who could take or leave the Oscars? I got sucked in by the hype -- the secrecy, the promise of "something new and exciting" and yeah, I half-hoped Hugh Jackman would fall on his face while presenting. I loved Jon Stewart as a host... and Steve Martin... and Ellen (did she ever host the Oscars or is that a secret hope of mine?) -- the point is, I like it when comics host because I like the mini-roasts they give the celebs; it's fun watching the beautiful people squirm in their seats.

I did like the opening number -- I thought it was cute, but I'm not convinced that the "musical is BACK!" Was it ever really here? So yeah, I could've done without the song-and-dance bits -- and Beyoncé really needs to give "At Last" a rest. Etta James totally backpedaled and said that she was just joking about all the nasty things she said re: Beyoncé singing "her song" at the Inauguration, but you know it really hurts her feelings... and Etta is a legend, let her have her song. (I could tell my nightmare Etta James story here, but I won't bore you with the details... she was the first prima donna I had to work with and she WORKED me -- I hated her for years, but I'm better now... I have other things to be bitter about).

So... I wish I could get all those hours back but at least it was free and I didn't have to shower or do my hair or anything, so it could've been worse.

Friday, February 20, 2009

a really good day

Recently my friend trapped 10 feral cats in her neighborhood and had them attended to by a vet -- the ones who weren't sick were spayed/neutered, given rabies shots and then returned to be released back into the neighborhood.

I was going to cancel on helping aemcdraw release the cats today, due to my 8 minute killer workout yesterday and resultant pain, but I didn't and I'm glad I went. To be honest she probably didn't need the help but it was really cool to see her set-up, learn how the traps work and see the colony cats up close.

I really respect aemcd's dedication to do something for the feral cat colony in her neighborhood -- I can't imagine how tough it must've been to trap them and find out that two were sick and needed to be euthanized. She took the one cat deemed adoptable to a shelter that had room for him and I know that was hard; she said as much.

For years I saw Bob Barker tell people to get their pets spayed and neutered at the end of every Price is Right show and it floors me that people would let their pets go "au naturel" or whatever and it's even more mindboggling that anyone could abandon their pets, spayed or not. The cats in aemcd's colony are certainly wild and it's so sad that they have to live rough on the streets -- short lives lived in really hard conditions.

Now it comes back around to Frank. There are a number of reasons why he's not the "right guy" for me, but this one is pertinent today. He has three cats; they were acquired by him and his ex-wife when they found their feral mother pregnant and took her in. Frank smarted over "taking away the manhood" of his male cat, yet never even had the female cats spayed. He's a first class ass -- especially when he lives near a highway in LA and lets his cats outside. What a prick. If I could I'd have HIS balls chopped off, but that's beside the point -- he's irresponsible and selfish -- so selfish that he can't even care for his pets and that's why he's not meant for me.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

light at the end???

I made it through Valentines and didn't cry once. I can refer to Frank by his name and not the clever moniker I bestowed upon him during my darkest of days (i.e. Fuckface). I'm not terribly narcissistic, but I'm just now at a place where I feel better than him. I do! I'm also starting to get motivated to really get back in shape... get into my cute clothes... maybe even venture out into the world and, oh, I don't know, get a job? Meet a man or twenty?

I'm also at the end of my Blanket Exchange obligation (i.e. the goddamn squares). I've made the decision not to participate in online swaps for a while and just do some selfish knitting -- my queue on Ravelry is an embarrassment -- it's PAGES long and I also have a bunch of yarn I need to knit up before I let myself go crazy shopping again (there's a rumor of a yarn shop closing in August... so I need to de-stash some and make room for new acquisitions).

This year, while I'm not Catholic, I think I'd like to give something up for Lent. I haven't decided yet... I don't really know how the whole "lent" thing works except that you give something vice-like up for 40 days. I'm not really willing to give up something material, so I'm going the concept route -- like "self pity" or "self deprecation" or I might make myself do something like look at my body naked EVERY DAY and find one thing I like and compliment myself on it. I know, it's completely cheesy, but I need to do this and 40 days is so short.

I'm also considering doing another 30-day yoga challenge. When I did it the last time, it led to a bit of a yoga obsession where I was even considering going through teacher training. I almost wish I had done it -- I had the cash, I had the time and I'd be working now, but that's beside the point. I just felt really good when I was sweating it out every day (despite Smelly Ballsack Man and Farty Woman). I figure the money I spend on 30 days of yoga is money I'm not going to let myself spend at Taco Bell, so it's a win-win proposal. I think I need another couple of days to really convince myself.

OK. That's it. I hadn't updated in a few days... the world didn't end.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

gluttony.

I rushed home from knitting to share this... am I a sad bastard or what? I just wanted to take photos before I devoured all the boxes of delicious Girl Scout Cookies. I'm totally in trouble... these 10 boxes won't last long:

All the photos have this kind of 1970's yellow-pee tint to them... I have poor lighting in my house. I can deal with that AFTER I eat all these cookies. Let's do some math now:

3 Samoas
+ 3 Tagalongs
+ 2 Do-Si-Dos
+ 2 Thin Mints
---------------------
= FAT BASTARD!

on letting go

Another post republished from my shared heartbreak blog:

A woman on Ravelry said that she’s been secretly reading my personal blog and it prompted me to go back and have a look through the old posts. She said she thought I was a “strong woman” and she admired me? What was this all about, I wondered… and so went through the archives. As I was reading, I went back to the post from mid-December when I went to visit Frank in Salt Lake City — it was poignant that we met there because it was where we were first physically intimate (well, up the road in the Ogden, but it was the same State) and it was where we were last together. The whole time I was with him on this trip, I felt unsettled and nervous. I did. I was even afraid that when I got to DEN (we were meeting here and flying on together) that he wouldn’t be there… I knew it was over, but didn’t want to face it. So, the whole time we were together (only 3 1/2 days) he talked to his ex-wife every damn day. Vanessa even said “hi” to me. WTF??? The last straw was when we did a walkabout and ended up at the local shopping center… when we got to Urban Outfitters, he took off towards the back of the store — not too odd considering that’s where the men’s section was, but still. When I found him he was on the phone with HER again. I was furious. I called a friend to vent less I create a scene in Urban Outfitters. How Gen Y that would’ve been of me, when I’m Gen X.

Anyhow, that night I confronted him. We had a talk in the hotel bar and he admitted that he didn’t want to be in a “relationship” with me after I told him that I had to refer to him as my “not-boyfriend” on my tour. Urgh. It hurt. He tempered it by saying that he loved me, which was really confusing, but the main message was that he didn’t want to be with me. If that was the case why was I with him, in a hotel, in another state after returning from a grueling tour with the flu when I could’ve been recuperating at home or still been in England and meeting my best friend for the holidays?

What’s more perplexing is why I didn’t just take it at face value, go home and start mourning? I waited until the end of January — we’d had two more heavy discussions in the meantime where he reiterated his desire to NOT be with me — all the while still professing his “love.” I’m not this stupid. I’m not, I swear it!

We went to see “He’s Just Not That Into You” on Sunday (me and my Knitty Gangstas) and the Gigi character was so incredibly annoying, but I AM Gigi. I am that dumb girl who can’t take “no” for an answer. Urgh. I’m so ashamed of myself right now. I’ll get over it. We’re going out for drinks tonight — there won’t be any cute guys where we’re going, but hell, the city jail is just next door, if I get really desperate, I can hit up the bail bondsman and just buy a date for Valentines.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

red rum

I don't know if it's just that I'm a slave to the Valentines marketing, but it's gone all red around my finished objects of late. Check out the damage:Next I'm going in to my charcoal grey phase... photos eventually.

Monday, February 9, 2009

oh laawd!

This was just featured as today's "Caption This" contest on DListed. I don't even know what to say... I just had to put the photo up here so I could easily reference it in the future.

Wow.

Corn-dog + Pizza = Corntabulousness?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

aslan update

The update is that there's nothing new. He's still sick, but, apparently not dead. This is good news.

anti-valentine

I'm re-posting this from the other blog I'm keeping with my friend; I'm having a bit of a sad day:

It’s 9 days away. In 9 days I was supposed to be in Hell-ay spending a day with a man who I loved, but he didn’t love me “like that.” I was so excited that I’d FINALLY be spending the day with a MAN and not with my other single girlfriends… or a bottle of wine and a rom-com at home alone. Chickens counted too early it seems…

A couple of weeks ago after a particularly sad bout of self-pity on the couch, I went over to the bookcase and pulled out THAT book. As if I needed confirmation for what I already knew: He just wasn’t that into me. I didn’t even need to go any further than the index… each chapter heading was like a cold, hard look in the mirror. See that wrinkle? Yeah, you’re old. Did he just disappear? Yeah, he doesn’t love you. It was tough and I cried even harder than I had before.

This Sunday a group of girlfriends are all going to see the movie version of my life. I can’t wait; I’m really scared that I’m going to cry — will facing the truth like that be so hard? I mean we can all relate can’t we, but what about me? Why do I keep making the same mistakes? Hmmm? I’m not a dumb person yet I keep making poor choices with regard to men.

I had something incredibly witty to write about here, but I forgot all of it. Why can’t I forget about him though?

Monday, February 2, 2009

it breaks my cold, dark, little heart

I think I need to take Aslan back to the shelter. He's not eating. Shit.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

i (heart) my friends

MyAndrew™ called me today; we made very loose plans to go out and have a drink (Superbowl avoidance) but I didn't believe it would actually happen... anyhow, it did. A few drinks later, we came back to check on Aslan and I got MyAndrew™ to model my new cowl. He's gone a bit al-Qaeda with his Jordanian scarf (Missy got it for him in Jordan, hence it's not Palestinian OR al-Qaeda-an). This makes me smile.

I've missed MyAndrew™. We've been friends for 20 years. Wow. 20 years. That means he's really old now.